Four year old Lisa proceeds to throw a temper tantrum everytime you tell her "no". It doesn’t matter whether you’re at the supermarket or a friend's house; she kicks and screams until she eventually wears you down. Lisa has learned how to push your buttons. Fortunately, it’s not too late. Children who throw temper tantrums invariably want and receive attention. Whether the parent ends up consoling or yelling, the child receives attention for her negative behavior. This in turn reinforces her belief that temper tantrums gain your attention.

Lisa’s parents might try designating a place in the house where she can express her tantrum. Everytime she is getting ready to have one, tell her you recognize her right to express her emotions (to be angry) and take her out of the environment and into a “Temper tantrum zone.” Stay with her without giving her attention. Read a magazine with one eye and watch her with the other (you want to prevent or intervene if she begins to hurt herself).

Temper tantrum zones can also be found outside the home. For example, if the tantrum begins in the grocery store, ask an employee to watch your cart while you take the child outside. Again watch her and listen to her but don’t give her any direct attention. When she has calmed down is the time to give her a treat like a box of Animal Crackers. Giving them to her during the tantrum again only reinforces the negative behavior.

A method for preventing tantrums in public places before they become a problem involves the use of "tickets". Before making your next trip to the store, cut three circles or squares out of cardboard or heavy paper for each child. Decorate them with stars, sparkles and a smiling face.

Before giving the children the tickets tell them the rules you want them to follow (as simply as possible) while you are in the store. When handing over the tickets to them, let them know that every time they break a rule you’re going to take a ticket away. Tell them they must have at least one ticket left if they want to play outside when you get home. If they lose all three tickets they will stay inside. For they child who is extra good and doesn’t lose a ticket, surprise her with an ice cream cone or something you know she likes.

When you use time-out to discipline children you are taking negative attention away. That is, you are not spanking or yelling. However, when attention is taken away, it needs to be replaced. Lisa’s parents might try going out of their way to give her attention for all the good things she does; thanking her because she was quiet while you were on the telephone or telling her what a great job she did putting on her own socks and shoes. If she’s getting enough positive attention she won’t need to seek it in a negative way.